Tonja Stelly had to be two locations at once on January 9. She is not surprised by that. Over the last three years, it has become customary to do this whenever the schedules of the NBA and NHL coincide perfectly.
That Tuesday, the Knicks were hosting the Portland Trail Blazers in Madison Square Garden, the most recognizable venue in the world. The game started at 7:30 p.m. for her son Quentin Grimes, a guard for the Knicks at the time who is now with the Detroit Pistons. Her son Tyler Myers, a defenseman for the Vancouver Canucks, was playing in Elmont, New York, twenty miles east, at the same time as the New York Islanders.
Thus, Tonja boarded a plane from Texas to New York with her husband Ken, her brother, and his family. Tonja and Ken watched Tyler play at UBS Arena, craning their necks to monitor the action in front of them and the Knicks game on the cell phone resting on Tonja’s lap for two hours. With the sounds of a basketball slapping hardwood floors and the Canucks against Islanders game on a small screen tucked in front of them, her brother and his family were enjoying the same experience at MSG.
“The people sitting around us, of course, were like, ‘Wow! You’re really into sports,’” Tonja said. “We were like, ‘Yes, yes we are.’”
The mother of NFL stars Travis and Jason Kelce, Donna Kelce, is well known. Sonya Curry is most people’s acquaintance; she is the mother of NBA players Stephen and Seth Curry. But very few people know Tonja Stelly, who is the mother of the only-ever NBA-NHL brother combination.
She used to be an athlete herself, having played basketball at Kansas’ own Fort Hays State University. She is also a sports parent. Her only children are Quentin and Tyler, and she travels the nation to see them participate, alternating between crammed basketball stadiums and freezing hockey arenas from October to April.
Both Tyler and Quentin were born in Houston ten years apart on February 1, 1990, and May 8, 2000, respectively, however their fathers are not the same. Consequently, they were raised in different homes and saw each other very infrequently, if at all.
“I was like a single child,” Quentin said, recalling his upbringing.
The hockey took off in Calgary, where Tyler and his father, Paul, who worked in the oil and gas industry, relocated three months after Quentin was born. Around the age of seven, he had already begun playing the sport in Texas, but the popularity of the sport in Canada encouraged him to take his game further and ultimately led to his NHL career.
Tyler used to go back to Texas in the summers and occasionally during spring break to spend time with his mother and younger brother. Tonja would take them swimming, riding bikes, or playing basketball or tennis. Every year, they would travel to see Tonja’s side of the family in Kansas, which would take them 22 hours total. Despite living almost across the nation from each other, she made every effort to ensure her sons had a bond.
“Putting things together in the six to eight weeks you have throughout the summer was really challenging,” she remarked. “However, we would take both individual and family actions.”
Allowing kids to play video games together and assigning them dinner duty in turns are two examples.
“They would pick different things being that Quentin was 4 and 5 and then Tyler was 14 and 15,” she said.
Tyler stayed away from junior hockey for a lengthier period of time as he approached his teenage years. However, Tonja and Quentin went to Kelowna, British Columbia, to watch him play junior hockey, and they continued to do so when he made his NHL debut. At the time of Tyler’s 12th NHL Draft selection by the Buffalo Sabres in 2008, Quentin was 8 years old. He made an immediate impression with the Sabres, who made the playoffs in his rookie season, and at 6 feet 8 inches, he became one of the tallest players in NHL history. Tyler was named the league’s best rookie, and he received the Calder Trophy just after Quentin turned ten. In each of his first two seasons, he was in the top 20 for the Norris Trophy, which is given to the league’s finest all-around defenseman.
Quentin’s admiration for hockey was sparked by the Sabres playoff series, not just because of his relationship with Tyler.
“I remember seeing that atmosphere, and I think I took more interest than the regular Texan watching hockey,” he said. “I tell people all the time, with playoff hockey, I don’t think there’s a better atmosphere — banging on the glass, shoving, pushing, hip-checking, it’s super fast-paced, people throw stuff on the ice. They’re not doing that at a basketball game.” (Well, unless they’re Jamal Murray, but we digress.)
Around 9, Quentin began playing AAU basketball, and like his older brother, quickly stood out among his peers. By high school, it was apparent he’d follow in the footsteps of his basketball-playing parents. Tonja Nuss was a 5-10 guard on the 1985-86 Fort Hays team that went 18-12. His father, Marshall Grimes, was a 6-foot guard for Santa Clara and Louisiana-Lafayette in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
Quentin was a five-star prospect who played his freshman year at Kansas before moving to Houston. There, he developed into the team’s top scorer for the Cougars in the 2021 Final Four, which helped the Knicks select him with the 25th pick in the NBA Draft.
The qualifications for becoming a professional athlete are not widely known. Fortunately for Quentin, one of them is his brother. Tyler could talk about how to eat and train like a professional athlete. However, he also desired for Quentin to “carve his own way.”
“As an athlete, I know I don’t want to bombard him with too much advice or too much that might overwhelm him, but certainly little things here and there I’ll throw at him,” Tyler said. “Even last month, I was reading this book and I forwarded him what it was all about and told him to check it out. Just little things like that here and there, that I think can help him out, and anything that I’ve gone through along the way.”
Tyler and Quentin can not easily watch each other play live because of the scheduling conflicts between the NBA and NHL. “We kind of have to keep tabs on each other from afar,” Tyler said.
However, Quentin’s early professional experience in New York was beneficial because the Canucks would visit the city to face the Rangers, Islanders, and Devils in that order. A few years back, Tyler went to one of Quentin’s home games, and the two of them had a few dinners together.
“As you see them mature into adults and find their way, especially since Tyler was gone at such a young age, to see that circle back to them now as adults is pretty special,” Tonja said while fighting back tears. “Pretty special.”
Tyler expressed his excitement for his mother and brother to visit Vancouver this week for the Canucks’ second-round playoff series against the Edmonton Oilers over the phone earlier this week.
In the days preceding Mother’s Day, Quentin will experience something equally thrilling: his first-hand introduction to Tyler’s three kids, Tatum, Skylar, and Tristan.
“It’ll be awesome,” Tyler said in advance of the visit. “The kids will get to meet their uncle, and it’ll be great for them to connect.”
Having assisted in the parenting of two boys with distinct ethnic backgrounds, hobbies, and upbringings, Tonja“It’s a pretty special weekend.”
Is there anything more unique than this?
Quentin might negotiate a long-term contract extension with the Pistons, as he has one year remaining on his $4.2 million deal. This season, Tyler has earned $6 million, and on July 1st, he will be eligible to sign with any agency.
It is quite tempting to imagine if Tonja’s sons could live in the same city and arena in the future, but a lot would have to work out first. After all, it is possible that the Detroit Red Wings will need a right-handed defenseman this summer.
“I think they (could use one), too,” Tonja said with a laugh. “That would be so awesome.”
(Photo illustration: Dan Goldfarb / The Athletic; photos courtesy of Tonja Stelly )
